Aww, Guano
by Red Bess Rackham
Summary: Clint comes back from a craptastic mission and is not impressed by his girlfriend's jokes. (Clint/Bobbi. Oneshot/ficlet.)


**Disclaimer:** For entertainment purposes only.

 **A/n:** I asked for some Halloween prompts on tumblr and the ever lovely **stars_inthe_sky** obliged. This is just a little somethin' somethin' from one hopeless Hawkingbird shipper to another. ;D

 _Prompt: Halloween prompts, you say? Bobbi/Clint and some vampire bats, that's what I say._

* * *

 **Aww, Guano**

Clint eased into his desk chair with a muffled groan.

"Don't get too comfortable, Barton," said Bobbi. She slapped a folder atop the mess of paperwork before him. "We've got a live one."

That was pretty much the last thing he wanted to hear right about now. The weekend mission in Chile had been absolute hell. She knew all about too; even if his broken finger, two stitches at his hairline, and matching black eyes hadn't been obvious indicators of how well it'd gone.

"Find someone else to do your dirty work, Morse." Clint pushed the file back at her. "My ribs are killing me. I can barely sit upright."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "Medical cleared you, didn't they?"

Clint grimaced. Yeah, technically they had. But they'd okay-ed him to do paperwork. And while normally he'd rather gnaw off his own hand than spend the day filing and signing and reading briefs and crap, the steady ache in his collarbone made him want to do little else. (Well, except sleep, of course.)

"Come on," she wheedled. "It's a good one."

Clint sighed. "What is it?" He wasn't agreeing to anything. He was just curious.

Bobbi scooped up the file and flipped it open. "There's this Inhuman who can send out pulses that calls bats to him. He's like the pied piper, but with bats. Isn't that great?"

"Aww…" Clint moaned.

He lowered his forehead to cool, polished fake-wood surface of his desk. He didn't have a problem with bats – at least, he hadn't until Chile. Until he'd had to crawl through very dark, narrow, windy cave tunnels for a couple hours. Until dozens and dozens of vampire bats (like hundreds, maybe thousands - okay, that was probably, definitely a major exaggeration, but she hadn't been there, had she?) had flapped and screeched and fluttered past him, battering him with their leathery wings. He'd been scratched and, he swore, bitten, although medical wasn't convinced those injuries hadn't been caused by something else.

And _that_ had been before the brawl and the car chase and the whole leaping-from-a-burning-building thing. Before he'd had to get back in the damn tunnels to get away from the assholes trying to kill him, and snuggle up with the stupid bats all over again. Suffice to say he was even less thrilled about crawling past a zillion bats the second time, when he was in a helluva lot of pain.

"Bobbi…" he said, raising his head with a wince. That's when he saw her unsuccessfully hiding her silent laughter.

At the look on his bruised face, she couldn't hold it in any longer. "I couldn't resist!"

"You are a jerk, Morse." Clint's lips quirked in a smile despite his attempt at a serious tone.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it was Nat's idea – I had to." She laughed.

"When I can stand up without crying, I'm going to get you, then her. Or her, then you. Either way."

"I would expect nothing less," Bobbi replied.

She smiled warmly at him – the kind of smile that made his insides go all melty and weird. Bobbi leaned forward and carded her fingers through his mussed hair – he hadn't bothered combing it this morning because getting a shirt on had been more than enough effort. Not for the first time, he wondered how the hell someone like him had ended up with someone like her.

"Go home, Barton," she said affectionately. "You're useless today."

He suppressed a smile. "Yes, ma'am."

Bobbi stood back and held the file she'd come in with to her chest. "All your paperwork will still be here tomorrow."

Clint sighed and began the arduous task of standing.

"I'll bring supper tonight," said Bobbi, backing towards the door. "And then we can watch a movie. I was thinking… Batman?"

He flipped her the bird and grinned as her laugh followed her down the hall.

 **-end-**


End file.
